I thought of how the awareness of my progress-the certitude that feeds my patience-is fortified by their belief. I thought of the people who believe in me. You’ve probably already guessed the third-level emotion that sprang to mind from my certitude. I have but to continue to steadily climb. I can see in looking back that I’ve already climbed so many of the necessary rungs, and that the way ahead is clear. There is a part of me (admittedly a much more rational one than the anxious and guilty part) that is sure I will be published, that I will find a readership, and that I will make a career out of what I deem to be my true calling. I came upon a sort of stoic resolve-almost a certitude. So I settled into the concept, and considered what else I was feeling. Because since receiving the compliment, I’ve actually come to accept that somehow, someway, I have indeed gained patience with age. Having bummed myself out, I moved on to patience. See how our feelings fuel one another? And how much our subordinate feelings reveal about our primary emotions? Years that I could’ve been contributing to our financial wellbeing.” Years that my wife diligently supported my dream. Years I could’ve been doing something altruistic, or at least constructive. With fear leading me to dwell on the possibilities of failure, guilt is a natural byproduct of failure. Does that seem odd? For me it makes perfect sense. The next thing that came to mind was guilt. As in, “What if it never sells? What if it’s never good enough? What if I’m not good enough?”Įnlightened by that, I moved on to the third level. It didn’t take long to see that my anxiety is rooted in fear. The first thing that popped into my head was anxious. So I thought about what else I’m feeling when I feel impatient. After all, I do often feel impatient about my writing journey. I started with impatience, just because it felt easier, or maybe more natural. It’s amazing how revealing the technique can be.Īnd though I don’t regularly think of myself as a character in my own story, I happened upon the notion of exploring my feelings about the patience compliment with Don’s technique. Then to ask again, what third thing is she feeling? We then wrote a new passage for the scene which describes this third-level emotion. Don asked us to pick a scene where our character feels strongly (anger, sorrow, terror, etc.), then to ask ourselves what else she is feeling, and to note it. One of the coolest techniques I learned about is called “third level emotions.” Rather than naming a big emotion, a writer can better convey a character’s feelings by exploring her ancillary feelings. You see, I’d just attended Don Maass’s workshop, The Emotional Craft of Fiction. I think the timing had a lot to do with it. Because, sure, I am grateful for the compliment. Heck, I even wrote a post for WU called Embracing Perseverance, and never once mentioned the word patience. I’ve considered my resolve during this long haul toward publication to be due to a lot of things-my stubbornness, fastidiousness, my being methodical, etcetera-but patience hadn’t really occurred to me.
I think I internalized the notion, so I was struck by the compliment. I’ve been told I am impatient for as long as I can remember. I wished my parents were still around to hear it.
Fortification fantasy grounds 2 full#
When I revealed that I’d been at it for over a decade, that I was working on what is essentially my fifth full manuscript, and that I was still-as yet-unpublished, her eyes widened. Which may explain why, rather minimalizing and changing the subject as I usually do, I sought to earnestly answer her queries. Since we were both book lovers and surrounded by books, we quickly found rapport. She was evidently a voracious reader, which I think explains her interest and curiosity about my life as a writer. I was recently working as a volunteer in our little neighborhood library, and a patron struck up a conversation which came around to my occupation.
“The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.”-Friedrich Nietzsche
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